I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize