Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
