Three words: puerto rican gang bang
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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