i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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