their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize
