whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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