Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
