If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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