I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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