HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
