Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
