I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
