there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
