You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
