whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
