thus making me awesome and them whores
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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