Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize