I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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