That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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