with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
