yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
