Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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