OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I wish I only lived at night.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
