you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
