wake up i wanna do it froggy style
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
