I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
