my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
wow bdsm is so cute
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