i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
