Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
