So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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