how hairy? two words: wookie tits
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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