this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
