Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
