In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize