Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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