Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
