seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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