my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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