woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
