people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize