Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
