Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
