The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
