When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
