R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
