He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
