let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
