I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
The ass gains better be worth it
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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