Whod you bang
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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