dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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