my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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