I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
