I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
