Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize