I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
