I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
