Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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