Got a toothbrush?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
