I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
