Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
