It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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