Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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