One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
